EXT. RESTAURANT – EVENING

The parking lot of a fairly large, nice restaurant.  WILL(A)’S car pulls into the parking lot.

CUT TO:
INT. WILL(A)’S CAR

WILL(A) drives around looking for a spot.

JENNIFER
So you’ve met this guy before, right?

WILL(A)
Well yeah.

JENNIFER
Are we early?

WILL(A)
A little bit.  It’s fine.  He will be too.

JENNIFER
It’s creepy when you do that.

WILL(A) parks.  He looks over at JENNIFER.

JENNIFER
How do I look?

WILL(A)
Good.

JENNIFER
Just good?

WILL(A)
Elegant and lovely.

JENNIFER nods, and they both start to get out of the car.  JENNIFER stops him suddenly, and licks her finger and straightens his eyebrows with it, then they get out.

CUT TO:
INT. WILL(B)’S CAR

They are pulling into the parking lot.

WILL(B)
We’re a bit early.

NATASHA
Is she pretty?

WILL(B)
I’m sorry, what’d you say?

NATASHA
I said how early are we?

WILL(B)
Oh, about ten minutes.

NATASHA
Have you met this other girl?

WILL(B)
Me?  No.

NATASHA nods, and lowers the visor to look in the mirror.  She adjusts her hair as they park.

WILL(B)
You look beautiful, kitten.

NATASHA
Yes, thank you.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT FOYER

WILL(A) and JENNIFER stand there, nervously looking around.  WILL(B) walks in the door, with NATASHA behind him.  JENNIFER stares.  NATASHA stares also.  WILL(A) looks down, as if he is not allowed to look at NATASHA.  The couples approach each other.

WILL(B)
Hi.

JENNIFER
Hi.
(beat)
You must be Natasha.

NATASHA
And what was your name?

WILL(B)
Jennifer.

NATASHA and JENNIFER shake hands.

WILL(B)
Do we have a table?

WILL(A)
Yeah.

CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT – TABLE

The four of them sit down at a table, the two WILL’s opposite each other, and the two women opposite each other. WILL(A) smiles at JENNIFER as he sits down, and she rolls her eyes at his glance and sighs, roughly puts her napkin in her lap.  Then she glances over at WILL(B) and looks back at her lap, very confused.

WILL(A), after smiling at JENNIFER, glances over at NATASHA, who eyes him curiously, then looks to WILL(B) as if for an answer.

WILL(A) and WILL(B) look at each other and both raise their eyebrows at the same time, and both smile in response to this.  They both chuckle.  JENNIFER and NATASHA both sigh and look off into the crowd of the restaurant.

WILL(B)
So what’s good here?

JENNIFER looks at WILL(A).

JENNIFER
Well.  The Alfredo’s pretty good.  I know this guy likes it.

WILL(B) smiles.

WILL(B)
Will?  Would you suggest it?

WILL(A)
Oh yes.  Mos def.

NATASHA
So how long have you two been dating?

JENNIFER
Over a year.  What about you guys?

NATASHA
Well we’ve been married for fourteen months.  But we were dating for about a year before that.

The two WILL’s both nod, and look at each other.

JENNIFER
So what do you do, Will?
(beat)
I mean you.  I know what you do.

WILL(B) laughs.

WILL(B)
I’m a poet.  Sounds lame, but. . .

JENNIFER
That doesn’t sound lame at all.  My Will used to write poetry.

WILL(B)
Yeah, I know actually.

WILL(A)
Go figure.

WILL(A) lights a cigarette.  When he exhales smoke, JENNIFER blows it away from her and glares at him.

NATASHA leans over to WILL(A) and eyes him for a cigarette.  He extends the pack to her, and she takes one out.  He lights it for her.  JENNIFER watches this whole exchange.

WILL(B)
What do you do, Jennifer?

JENNIFER
Oh I work at a hotel.  I’m the Assistant Manager at the front desk.

WILL(B)
Which hotel?

JENNIFER
The one on 83rd and Kentucky.  The Fairfield.

NATASHA looks over at JENNIFER, who catches the glance and looks away.

WILL(B)
That’s cool.

JENNIFER
It’s alright.

NATASHA
What about you, Will-who-is-not-my-husband?  What do you do, if you don’t write poetry anymore?

WILL(A)
I write greeting cards.

NATASHA laughs.

WILL(A)
I’m serious.  I write and design greeting cards.  Or at least I maintain the algorithms which . . .

WILL(B) starts to laugh.  WILL(A) smiles and makes eye contact with WILL(B).

WILL(A)
Yeah, nothing, nevermind.

JENNIFER
Did we miss something there?

NATASHA
They’re communicating I think.

JENNIFER
I have the feeling there’ll be a lot of this sort of thing.

NATASHA
Yeah.

STEVE THE WAITER walks up.

STEVE THE WAITER
Hi folks, I’m Steve the Waiter.  I’m gonna be taking care of you tonight.  And I don’t mean taking care of you taking care of you, just you know, getting your drinks and stuff.

At “taking care of you taking care of you” STEVE THE WAITER puts his finger to his head like it’s a gun.

WILL(A)
Sure, thanks Steve the Waiter.

STEVE THE WAITER
Can I start you guys off with some drinks?

WILL(A)
I’ll have a beer.

JENNIFER
Screwdriver.

WILL(B)
A house wine.

NATASHA
Red, please, two.

STEVE THE WAITER
Alright folks –

JENNIFER
Oh, actually, wait.  I’ll just have . . . a water.

STEVE THE WAITER
Ok.  I’ll be right back with your drinks.

STEVE THE WAITER leaves.

JENNIFER eyes WILL(A) and he gives her an understanding look.

WILL(B)
I can’t believe you like beer.  I hate beer.
(beat)
And you smoke.

WILL(A)
You want to live forever?

NATASHA smiles at that comment.

WILL(B)
I just don’t want to die slowly and painfully.

JENNIFER
Exactly.  Thank you.

WILL(A)
Damn.  I’m like Rodney Dangerfield – I get no respect.  Even from myself.

Everyone laughs.

JENNIFER
This whole deal with the two of you is like some stupid Rodney Dangerfield movie.

WILL(B)
Thanks, Jennifer.  I like the idea that in the movie of my life – our lives –

WILL(A)
Please – our life.

WILL(B)
Anyway – that the character of Will would be played by Rodney Dangerfield.

NATASHA
I think he could pull it off.

WILL(A)
Well our life really is fodder for an uproarious comedy of Dangerfieldian proportions.

Everyone laughs.

NATASHA
This whole situation certainly is bizarre.

JENNIFER
Right.

WILL(A)
Yeah, I think everyone’s agreed on that.  Certainly deserves some attention and study, I’d say.

WILL(B)
Agreed.

The two WILL’s share a moment with their eyes.

NATASHA
So Will told me you went to hear his reading at the University.  What did you think of it?

WILL(A)
Perfect timing on the change of subject, kitten—- rather, Natasha, I’m sorry.

WILL(A) tries to quickly save himself.

WILL(A)
Um.  I think Will is very talented.

The slip was not lost to JENNIFER, which she makes obvious with a look she gives him.

JENNIFER
I know I’ve always told him that.

There is a brief pause in the conversation.  Every one looks around at each other.

WILL(B)
Well, Jennifer, tell us about yourself.  You know, where did you grow up, what are you into, stuff like that?

WILL(A)
God, it’s so weird.  How we’re all, like, just getting to know each other.  I’m the only one that knows everyone.

WILL(B)
Well Will, it’s called politeness, and it’s standard conversational technique.

JENNIFER
I’m glad you asked, Will –

NATASHA
What makes you think you still know me, Will?  Two years is a long time.

WILL(A) nods, a bit surprised.

WILL(A)
Excuse me.  I have known you.  Or maybe I never did.  Who can say?

WILL(B)
Whoa, ok.  I’m looking at the fish.

WILL(B) picks up his menu.

JENNIFER
Not the pasta?

NATASHA
What ever happened to your poetry, anyway, Will?

WILL(A)
What do you mean?

NATASHA
You stopped when you left me, didn’t you?  You haven’t written anything for Jennifer?

WILL(A)
I wrote for myself, not for you.  If you need to inflate your ego by thinking that you’re some kind of muse for me – for him . . .

WILL(B)
How about an appetizer?  Fondue?

NATASHA
I don’t think this is the place, Will.

WILL(A)
Whatever.

JENNIFER
Are you guys finished?

NATASHA
Yes, Jennifer, thanks for asking.
(beat)
I have to go to the little girls’ room.  Excuse me, Will.  Honey.

NATASHA stands and kisses WILL(B) on the head.

JENNIFER
Actually, I think I’ll go too.  I’ll just be a minute.

JENNIFER also stands, kisses WILL(A) on the lips, and walks away behind NATASHA.

Both WILL’s follow the girls away with their eyes, then look nervously at each other.

WILL(B)
I would love to be a spider under that table.

WILL(A)
Yeah.  Fucking a.

WILL(B)
Knowing Natasha, I wonder which one will come out alive.

WILL(A)
Knowing Jennifer, neither of them will.

WILL(B) laughs.

WILL(B)
She seems very nice.

WILL(A)
Thanks, Dad.

WILL(B)
Hey, man, I’m sorry about Natasha.  She’s very . . . confused.  This whole thing has her really upset.  You should have seen her last night.

WILL(A)
I’m nervous about how well Jennifer has taken it thus far.

WILL(B)
Not well, either?

WILL(A)
No, very well.  It’s like it’s not strange at all that there’s another me.

WILL(B)
Me.

WILL(A)
Yeah.

WILL(B)
And how are you taking it?

WILL(A)
How are you taking it?

WILL(B)
I asked first.

WILL(A)
Eat a dick.

The WILL’S laugh.